Before you start bombarding my in-box on my email with “you have butchered the title of one of the greatest movies of all time – how dare you” – I give you this full disclosure; I never read JRR Tolkien. I never saw any of the hobbitt, troll, inner world movies. I burned a copy of the first trilogy* but it did not take, so maybe I will get to it. So, for all of you groupies, trollies, or what-ever you call yourself, get over it.
Now, on to the heart of the matter. Someone told me a while back about DJ. The summers are wicked hot (well, they say really hot. I just modified it being from the People’s Republic of Massachusetts). However, said person continued, the winters will drive you crazy with the flies. Huh? That makes no sense. Until you are here…
I’m thinking winters like back home. Forgot that it is 125 on NOV 19th. We must have had a frost that I missed some morning, and this must be an Indian Summer, just extended. Flies are everywhere in the day time. Seriously. It’s like the picnic area at Canobie Lake Park on a full time basis. We have a score sheet in the office of how many of these little buggers have gotten a free dirt nap. 18 since Monday.
Understand we are loaded here for total war. M-16s, M-9, grenades, RPGs, BFG-1000, the EMF-50, tanks, and something with a flux-capacitor with a red laser thing that can also be used during Power-Point displays. We have it all. AND WE NEED HELP!!!! The other day I said to send old, used golf equipment. That was for morale boosting. WE NEED SWATTERS !!! Send now. Do not delay. We need to be armed and at the ready 24/7 for this assault. We are being swamped by these little guys.
Now, understand that I can not post a blog about flies and not reference the best fly-role ever by one of the least appreciated actors of our generation. Forget the nerdiness of Jurassic Park, who else could think of sneezing and virus to save the world on the 4th of July ? Still, an all time classic (no sequel please) – was The Fly. He is Jeff Goldblum.
*NOTE: Copying movies is illegal. I do not advocate copying movies, which I did not do. I merely have created an off-site back-up storage facility for Blockbuster in the event the store burns down. This way, I can assist with redundancy, they can open back up, the employees begin working again, their paychecks are taxed to the limit, and the social programs can continue forward. It’s like a tax by the Kennedy’s ; it’s for the children.